It looks like my last post was August 14th, more than a month ago. I think most of my energy has just been completely wrecked by my full time teaching job. It has been a rude adjustment, going back to in-person teaching, after the relative spaciousness and relaxed feel of being mostly remote last year. The school where I work seems to be trying to cram as much activity as possible into the school week, maybe as a way to "make up for" last year.
It's feeling like a claustrophobic hamster wheel of doom.
Maybe I will adjust, and maybe I won't. Currently, it just feels like an unsustainable way to live, and the job is crowding out everything else in my life, almost. The relationship with M keeps getting better and better, and she visited out here for my 60th birthday and we had an amazing 3.5 days together, including doing a few touristy LA things, eating a ton of great food. I think I gained a few pounds. We always have a dreamlike and amazing time together, and it's always as if it's a lot more time that just the number of days. But it's also super harsh and difficult afterwards, and I am still feeling it. I guess what also feels unsustainable is the long distance relationship, but we are finding ways to make it work, very well so far. I think I am feeling like it is even more unworkable with my intense work schedule now, so I'll have to see how to reassess that and balance my life as it currently is.
The job has taken up all the time I would be looking for work more closely related to cacti, research, college level teaching, or something else. I know I'm not really suited anymore for full time high school work, especially with the intensity of the school where I am now. But it is feeling like a crunchy time, trying to get back on job boards, update the CV, pursue leads, network. I'll find some way to do it.
The above, a view with space and quiet. The river in San Ignacio, Baja California Sur. The featured image: a cardonale near Todos Santos, BCS.
❤️
Missing your posts!