First: being invited by the journal Ecological Modelling to review a manuscript. This should be interesting indeed. I have so little experience. I asked my PhD mentors if they had any tips for me and they said they would get back to me. I also found on online rubric/description of the process that I found very helpful. It's very similar to grading student work, in some ways, except that there are a few key differences, especially regarding the novelty of the contribution and a much more detailed critique of the methods, results, and conclusions. I hope to have fun with it.
The past couple of weeks have been deeply busy with my full time high school teaching job, as we find ourselves in yet another one of the "fat stretches" of the year, traditionally from now until about spring break. It seems like the relatively uninterrupted school weeks encourage an intensity of activities. Another first for me has been this entire enterprise of teaching high school students over the internet, just the weirdest. I love working from home, and it's gotten me spoiled somewhat, and there will definitely be a period of adjustment when I am back in the school building all day long most days. I also miss aspects of that life, so it'll be okay. But I'm truly learning how to present online content and organize online instruction as I go, and some of the techniques I was originally using have fallen by the wayside, as I have fallen back into teaching strategies with which I am more familiar. One of my resolutions lately is to get back to some of the innovations I was using earlier in the year, that are specifically tailored to online learning. I have gotten tired and lazy in some ways.
Seconds: the second in person weekend with M. Last weekend. I'm left speechless by the entire experience, frankly. It seems weird that it was just a week ago. It feels parallel in time. Profoundly moving. I have been experiencing a whole range of emotions, from joy, happiness, contentment, through utter terror, disbelief, bewilderment, simple anxiety, caution, to warmth, tenderness, openness, appreciation. It's a BIG experience, and is touching on so much of my past and challenging me to navigate a lot of complexity, emotionally. I'm not complaining at all. But it has reached down deep and way across many dimensions of who I am and I'm simply trying to hold on and pay attention at this point.
Lasts: It seems death is still everywhere, echoing back to last spring. I had a dream a couple nights ago where I was rehearsing some of my friends in my own ritual memorial service. It was like pre-arranging a memorial theater for myself. It has had me thinking about mortality for sure. Death and loss has been such a central part of the very fabric of my whole existence for the past four years. I continue to negotiate my way toward deeper and broader understanding.
A sense of the infinite possibilities opening at this time is also with me. It's in stark contrast for sure. The full time teaching life allows for very little flexibility, even when it is remote. When I am on, I am just plain on, and that is that. My heart is already turning toward future open spaces. Spring break will probably involve two weekends with M, but also a lot of camping in Big Bend. I am longing for it, for sure. I love this urban life, but I also want to be out under stars. Maybe I will go somewhere next weekend, particularly if it warms up a bit.
Meanwhile, here's some words of inspiration.
